just wanted to talk about two odd df'ing experiences i had; which gave me the 'personal' lesson that there are some in the wt who are definitely not militants when it comes to the whole disfellowshipping regime... .
passing ships in the night - the irony.
quite a while back, a brother turned up at my last congregation, he came to a few meetings and then i didn't see him for several weeks, and all of a sudden comes the announcement, he got df'd.
it really defies logic, because the only way those youngsters can resolve this is by being forced to return to the 'truth'... and persevere through many months of social isolation and antisocial behavior from the 'loving' members of the congregation, where everybody acts like 'you're dead'...
I mean that situation is really screaming 'LOSE-LOSE'...
just wanted to talk about two odd df'ing experiences i had; which gave me the 'personal' lesson that there are some in the wt who are definitely not militants when it comes to the whole disfellowshipping regime... .
passing ships in the night - the irony.
quite a while back, a brother turned up at my last congregation, he came to a few meetings and then i didn't see him for several weeks, and all of a sudden comes the announcement, he got df'd.
Vidiot, it's good to hear that your parents had (for want of a better term) the BALLS to defy that 'arbitrary' GB rule... I recon that shunning would be dropped en mass the day after, if it were ever re evaluated and seen for what it really is...
just wanted to talk about two odd df'ing experiences i had; which gave me the 'personal' lesson that there are some in the wt who are definitely not militants when it comes to the whole disfellowshipping regime... .
passing ships in the night - the irony.
quite a while back, a brother turned up at my last congregation, he came to a few meetings and then i didn't see him for several weeks, and all of a sudden comes the announcement, he got df'd.
Thanks Wasanelder Once. Actually after writing this I worried that I might have given the impression that I was 'praising' the organisation, One thing I'm coming to realise, which is quite upsetting, is that ACTUALLY there are a lot of good hearted people out here, I've been lucky enough to make 2 really good friends and they constantly baffle me with their sincerity... I was taught that only JW's were truly loving..I believed the lie and judged all non JW's as 'incapable of true love'. (by the way, now you have me wondering why being treated humanely by a JW now I'm DF'd would elicit so much appreciation... maybe it's a case of when evil behaviour turns good? I dunno)
Doc and babygirl30, the things you said about those who were once in bad standing themselves now being potential shunners really makes me think that Shunning is less about love for the shunned one, or obedience to the GB, but more about fear-based 'self preservation'... if there was no chance of being frowned upon, and there were no repercussions for talking to DF'd or DA's I wonder how many would engage in this cruel practice?
it was so funny!.
the small rented hall our congregation uses had a blackout.
we think there was some construction work next door that caused it.. at least the glow of everyone's tablets and cell phones kept the place illuminated!.
one year ago, this thursday, i went to work as usual.
i got home, ate dinner, got myself dressed for the meeting, and helped my kids get ready like i usually did.. my son had a talk that evening, his second one.
many of my family went to support him.
Hi Ricky G,
First saw your testimony on JW struggle when I first got curious about what ex JW's were saying on youtube, and on some of my bad days, have watched a couple of your videos, just to hear some words of one who knows.
the one that touched me the most was the one where you were having a bad day and said FULLY how much you hate the organisation... such brutal honesty, and I felt your pain, it articulated how I feel from time to time.
and it's been nice to see, that progressively, you seem to be getting stronger, more confident, having passed though the fire and come out the other side.
it's so different being on the other side and seeing what people have to go through after being ejected or leaving the org. I have so much respect for everybody who goes through this, it takes you to the edge of insanity and emotional trauma and then 'YOU' pull yourself back, no, not with the GB's help, but your own strength, and with the support of those who really care, rather than those who pay lip service to love... It's so sad that not all survive this 'dangerous' journey, so glad you made it.
love your videos and will keep watching
just wanted to talk about two odd df'ing experiences i had; which gave me the 'personal' lesson that there are some in the wt who are definitely not militants when it comes to the whole disfellowshipping regime... .
passing ships in the night - the irony.
quite a while back, a brother turned up at my last congregation, he came to a few meetings and then i didn't see him for several weeks, and all of a sudden comes the announcement, he got df'd.
Just wanted to talk about two odd DF'ing experiences I had; which gave me the 'personal' lesson that there are some in the WT who are definitely not militants when it comes to the whole disfellowshipping regime...
Passing ships in the night - the irony
Quite a while back, a brother turned up at my last congregation, he came to a few meetings and then I didn't see him for several weeks, and all of a sudden comes the announcement, he got DF'd. Anyway months later he starts attending meetings. I was an attendant at the back of the hall a lot in this period and several times had to hand him a copy of the WT if he didn't have one during the study. Most times I would sort of lean over and put my hand on his shoulder and give him a gentle but firm squeeze to get his attention while giving him the magazine; I don't know, I felt sorry for him and was trying to find a way to show him with an act of affection that he wasn't hated, as I never warmed to the whole DF'ing arrangement.
well fast forward many months and he's finally reinstated, joy of joys, I could talk to him, and we got on pretty well, and I liked the kind of person he was.
so fast forward a few more months, and guess what? yep, I'm now the DF'd one... So in the early days, not having received the organisation's 'So you've been disfellowshipped, now what?' instruction brochure ... i'm still trying to figure out how to act when I see brothers in the street etc..
Low and behold, one day I'm leaving work, turn the corner and here's this ex DF'd now reinstated brother, in field service garb, walking straight towards me; we looked at each other and I tell you what, there was not one bit of hatred, animosity, unkindness, or displeasure or anything negative in his eyes. He almost had a look that seemed to say 'I know exactly what's going on, I understand'... Then we walked past each other... the irony of it... we swapped places, with such a short friendship in between, it left me feeling pretty weird. I had expected to feel real tension when I would meet with brothers I knew, but that one proved me wrong.
another one;
The disobedient compassionate brother
I got a nice surprise the other day. I was taking a stroll during my lunch break on a quiet deserted street just beside a cemetery, and a pizza delivery guy on a motor bike pulls up next to me, takes off his motorbike helmet, revealing his face. it was a brother that used to be in the congregation; moved on but still a JW. He asked me how I was and I was really hesitant because this is the first time a witness I know has spoken to me in so long; I was taken aback and stumbled to make conversation. I asked him if he knew I was DF'd and he said 'yes but it doesn't matter, I'm speaking to you as a friend', he then tried to find out what happened and said, that if I wanted to come back, come back for Jehovah and 'not the brothers', I could have broken down in tears right there and then... he asked me if I am happy and I struggled to answer because I didn't want to explain what I've experienced since leaving the org, it would have taken too long. Well, he said goodbye to me, shook my hand and we went our separate ways.
Thing about this brother is that when he was in my congregation, he was ridiculed, vilified, mocked, by a lot in the congregation...a bit of an ugly duckling metaphorically, and was treated as an outcast by his own JW family for this. Once he sent a mass text message inviting brothers in the congregation to subscribe to JW-match, which I understand he did in total innocence just trying to help single brothers and sisters, I guess he didn't see what was coming because he was reported to the elders and I never saw him again, and nobody talked about him either; Weird.
Maybe all that mistreatment turned him into a very compassionate person... it touched my heart so deeply that he would take the time to stop and talk to me, he said he had spotted me taking walks before and wanted to talk to me.... I wonder if he's been DF'd before? After this experience some of my animosity towards brothers cooled a bit. Amazing what 'one' act of kindness can do.
Even though I have not had any contact from my mother, my 'best' friends, my sister and her children since being disfellowshipped, I see there are still some compassionate ones fully in there who are not willing to let the GB dictate how they show love.
i was never told before i got baptised that i would loose my family if i got disfellowshipped.. no one told me i would get disfellowshipped if i had a blood transfusion.
no one told me that the gb was all powerful and tolerate no dissention.
that if i spoke to a d/f person i would get disfellowshipped.. no one told me in my marriage bed there were rules if broken d/f shipping resulted.. i was told my brothers would die or care for me.
your first point got me thinking about the whole DFing thing. I mean, the only time I ever remember hearing anything about the negative consequences of getting DF'd was through the extremely edited wt publications, phrases like, 'I missed my family', 'life was awful out there' etc etc... the wt never really focused on just how it really is. AND, the reinstated never seemed to talk about this stuff openly.
Are they even allowed to talk about their experiences? is this just another method of 'information control'?
in my cong ( my wives cong.
) there is a lady who attends every meeting , minus the field service just like a regular dub.
it just seems odd she has not taken the dip yet.
steve2, that was brilliant, had me laughing out loud...
A great synopsis
as i have written previously, i crashed a discussion between a young j-dub and his baptist workmate who were having.
a religious debate outside starbucks.
this was months ago.
@ antes8080, thank you for the reassurance... it's good to know others have been through this are creating life for themselves
it feels a bit odd trying to go after something I will enjoy and be interested in, without having to be covert about it, in case it is frowned upon, or having to pull out the Index or Wtlib before making a decision...ugh!
I had a little practice immediately after leaving the org, 'took a short course on indoor rock climbing' among other things..and took part in a national Rubic cube speed solving competition, and went to watch several London events at the Olympics Games which were held here in the UK in 2012... the freedom was overwhelming... ... time to get back on the horse... get educated and learn to enjoy life
The Marvster
i came accross.
of people when they are dying.
i immediately thought of people lives spent in the 'truth'.
AMAZING...
I know this is a late response, but that article was the one that made me decide to take a look in the mirror and eventually led to me accepting who I was and that I couldn't live a double life anymore or live up to others' expectations, and this led to me being DF'ed.
I heard this story reported here in the UK, on Radio 2 about three and a half years ago, one afternoon whilst I was at work. I stopped what I was doing immediately and listened to the report. this was a sort of catalyst with another event that happened to me about 6 months prior where I was walking down the street and who I was completely disappeared. I knew who I was supposed to be but for a few minutes it disappeared completely and I had no idea who, or what I was, there was just complete emptiness, and from that moment I started to try to find out who I was. And then 6 months later I hear a report about this palliative nurse, and all these terminally Ill people saying they wish the were 'true to themselves, or they wish they worried less about other people's expectations or that they had the courage to express themselves more.... and alarm bells start ringing...
